| im the best at running my life |
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| 04:48pm 01/04/2005 |
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mood:  bored
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get my car in 21 days, going to be awesome. beach trips and a house for weekends and all.
summer is going to be a good one. ill have a good job fuck office max.
-I've boarded up the windows to keep the morning from intrusion
I've left it on the doorknob, could you please just not disturb
On days like this we find it so hard to push ourselves up and out of bed
When nothing falls in favor of
I have so many things I would like to explain to you
But I don't know just how to communicate
I can't take this body shaking
Dress and we'll begin
Nights can be so violent when beds become vacant
So now I've blown it once again,
this would have been the last offense and
You should have been here months ago with open arms and honest face
Addres full doubt you've ever felt frustration well I'm choking on it now
And it's the hardest thing for me to shake
Is it because of this vacancy that you swear never to believe?
Honestly honest me, with a look that's so deceiving
I'll bite, chew, swallow, and digest the hands that feed me
With a bayonet for a tongue,
Swallow swords inadvertently,
And to the organ flame I'll maintain a close adjacency
I have so many themes; I would love to explain to you
Farewell to all the days you were, within my reach,
and as of right now everything is making perfect sense. |
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| note to self |
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| 02:21pm 31/01/2005 |
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mood: bored
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note to self i miss you terribly
this is what we call a tragedy
come back to me
i can feel my mind wandering again
into where i dont know
will i ever get home
time starts moving faster than i can
i'm sick of this scene |
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| "Asleep In The Chapel" |
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| 03:04pm 16/01/2005 |
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three chalk outlines sleep in the dirty street
and in our beds, under the sheets,
they're the halo of guilt hanging around your neck,
next to the rosary you count, falling asleep
and we're praying
these are the symptoms of letting go of all our hope. |
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1 This crucifix is my four leaf cloverPost |
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| 10:03pm 13/01/2005 |
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To be at one with all your life |
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| So kill the forest And destroy the beauty. |
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| 11:21am 09/01/2005 |
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mood:  tired
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I'll lock myself alone in a room
Drink until the clock strikes noon
With just a pen, a pill, and some paper
And maybe I will write a sad song
Or another cliche poem
Of the person that I long to be |
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| Dont wake me i plan on sleeping in |
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| 04:00pm 08/01/2005 |
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mood: bored
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And then last night i had that strange dream
Where everything was exactly how it seemed
Where concerns about the world getting warmer
The people thought they were just being rewarded
For treating others as they like to be treated
For obeying stop signs and curing diseases
For mailing letters with the address of the sender
Now we can swim any day in november
Dont wake me i plan on sleeping in |
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| update |
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| 10:39pm 04/01/2005 |
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mood:  okay music: walking downtown
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work sucked. got bossed around all day. some fat ignorant guy came in yelling
cause the doors where locked.
i hate people like that..lol. umm school is goina alright
nothing to special. ummm next year hopefully i can get
transfered or something, judge is a joke.
ummm i threw some of my drawings in a box and sent them to a school and hopefully they
like them and i get some kind of credite and get notice and get to go there,
iforget the name of it though?.
new years wasnt the best thing for me.. but got to drink so thats good.
cant wait till after highschool... getting the fuck out of here...lol,
college big thing got to go. liscence in a few months cant wait, going on mad road trips.. beach mountains and some others. hopefully ill have enough money by then so i can afford it, goina ask for
some more hours so i can work alot more, got to earn a lil more cash on the side.
my brother finnaly moved into his new house, its pretty nice.
byee. |
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1 This crucifix is my four leaf cloverPost |
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| "Testing The Strong Ones" |
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| 12:41am 04/01/2005 |
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mood: bored
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Its testing the strong ones
Scarring the beautiful ones
It's holding the loved ones
One last time |
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| "Firefly" |
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| 10:11pm 02/01/2005 |
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mood: okay
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Bring me your enemies
Lay them before me
And walk away
Fuck you firefly
Have you lost your light
Now I hate your ways
'cause they're just like mine
So you lost my friend
Such a sorry end
Now I don't know why
So I choke and smile |
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| "Nothing Better" |
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| 12:15am 02/01/2005 |
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good song.
............................
Will someone please call a surgeon
Who can crack my ribs and repair this broken heart
That your're deserting for better company?
I can't accept that it's over...
I will block the door like a goalie tending the net
In the third quarter of a tied-game rivalry
So just say how to make it right
And i swear i'll do my best to comply
Tell me am i right to think that there could be nothing better
Than making you my bride and slowly growing old together
I feel must interject here you're getting carried away feeling sorry for yourself
With these revisions and gaps in history
So let me help you remember.
I've made charts and graphs that should finally make it clear.
I've prepared a lecture on why i have to leave
So please back away and let me go
I can't my darling i love you so...
Tell me am i right to think that there could be nothing better
Than making you my bride and slowly growing old together
Don't you feed me lines about some idealistic future
Your heart won't heal right if you keep tearing out the sutures
I admit that i have made mistakes and i swear
I'll never wrong you again
You've got a lure i can't deny,
But you've had your chance so say goodbye
Say goodbye |
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1 This crucifix is my four leaf cloverPost |
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| "Brand New Colony" |
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| 10:22pm 29/12/2004 |
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mood: bored
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work sucked. dont wanna go tomorow either..
good song
.......................................
I'll be the grapes fermented,
Bottled and served with the table set in my finest suit
Like a perfect gentlemen
I'll be the fire escape that's bolted to the ancient brick
Where you will sit and contemplate your day
I'll be the waterwings that save you if you start drowning
In an open tab when your judgement's on the brink
I'll be the phonograph that plays your favorite
Albums back as your lying there drifting off to sleep...
I'll be the platform shoes and undo what heredity's done to you...
You won't have to strain to look into my eyes
I'll be your winter coat buttoned and zippedstraight to the throat
With the collar up so you won't catch a cold |
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2 This crucifix is my four leaf cloverPost |
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| This Place Is A Prison |
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| 06:13pm 27/12/2004 |
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mood:  cold
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This place is a prison
And these people aren't your friends
Inhaling thrills through $20 bills
And the tumblers are drained and then flooded again
And again
Ther're guards at the on ramps armed to the teeth
And you may case the grounds from the cascades to puget sound,
But you are not permitted to leave
I know there's a big world out there like the one i saw on the screen
In my living room late last night,
It was almost too bright to see
And i know that it's not a party if it happens every night
Pretending there's glamour and candelabra
When you're drinking by candlelight
What does it take to get a drink in this place?
What does it take, how long must i wait? |
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1 This crucifix is my four leaf cloverPost |
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| 01:52am 27/12/2004 |
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mood: tired
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snow snow snow!!!!
Rain down, rain down
Come on rain down on me
From a great height |
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| 02:19am 26/12/2004 |
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Call me a safe bet. I'm betting I'm not
You are calm and reposed. Let your beauty unfold
Pale white, like the skin stretched over your bones. Spring keeps you ever close. You are second hand smoke. You are so fragile and thin. Standing trial for your sins. Holding onto yourself the best you can. You are the smell before rain. You are the blood in my veins. Call me a safe bet. I'm betting I'm not. |
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| "Guernica" |
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| 01:18am 25/12/2004 |
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mood: bored
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My lungs are fresh and yours to keep, Kept clean and they will let you breathe. Is this the way a toy feels when its batteries run dry? I am the watch you always wear but you forget to wind. Nobody plans to be half a world away at times like these, so I sat alone and waited out the night. The best part of what has happened was the part I must have missed. So I'm asking you to shine it on and stick around. I'm not writing my goodbyes. I submit no excuse. If this is what I have to do I owe you every day I wake. If I could I would shrink myself and sink through your skin to your blood cells and remove whatever makes you hurt but I am too weak to be your cure. Is this the way a toy feels when its batteries run dry? I am the watch you always wear but you forget to wind. Nobody plans to be half a world away at times like these, so I sat alone
and waited out the night |
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| "Okay I Believe You, But My Tommy Gun Don't" |
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| 05:53pm 23/12/2004 |
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mood: bored
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Oh, we're so c-c-c-c-c-controversial.
we are entirely smooth.
we admit to the truth,
we are the best at what we do.
and these are the words you wish you wrote down.
this is the way you wish your voice sounds,
handsome and smart.
oh my tongue's the only muscle on my body
that works harder than my heart.
and its all from watching tv,
and from speeding up my breathing.
wouldnt stop if i could.
oh it hurts to be this good.
you're holding on to your grudge.
oh it hurts to always have to be honest
with the one that you love.
oh, so let it go.. |
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1 This crucifix is my four leaf cloverPost |
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| 02:17pm 19/12/2004 |
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mood:  calm
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work has been alright but i have been working till 10 30 cause of the holidays. my new computer broke already...... got a new hard drive. dont know what im doing today. but i dont got work!!!!!! yay
nothing realy new basically the same old. later.
.........
shine on dimond eyes seperate the space
between love and lies |
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1 This crucifix is my four leaf cloverPost |
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nirvana1994's journal